Let's talk, Life, Uncategorized

A few words about my dad

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It is 8:20 in the morning and i’m alone in my big living room thinking about a million things

My father is at the hospital

He was diagnose with Alzeihmer disease two years ago

And it’s getting worst every day, as we know it would.

I don’t know how i feel about it. It is strange to say, i know. But it’s not about how i’m feeling, it’s about him.

And he, of course, can even begin to describe how he feels

On his good days, he’s recognize me

On his bad days, he’s faking it

But i know, oh, i know

I see it so clearly in his eyes that he is clueless

I don’t know why he bother though ?

Maybe faking is the last thing he have to hide the fact that he lose sight of who he is

Of who we are

Of where he lives

I know that’s not something who will go away

No cure

No getting better.

And that is infuriating

Memory is sacred

And nothing, nothing on this earth should never touch that so endlessly intimate part of someone

He now have no past, no present and apparently no futur

I just hope he’s not scared

And even if the day he don’t have any memories at all is fast approching

I want him to know that it’s okay

We have them

locked up very deeply in our souls, in our hearts

Some place where i hope any disease or illness could EVER erase them

I love him so very much

And please, please let him be not scared…

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